April 16, 2014

14 and growing

Gillian is now in her final months of 8th grade.  She will be off to high school in a 4 months.  I usually don't brag about her but she has surprised me quite a bit this few weeks.

She got into all honors last year and has managed to get mostly As except for Spanish.  The least of my worries.  Workload this year was brutal.  Tonne of homework and projects, with Nutcracker, she proved she could do both dance and school work.  We would rush downtown for her rehearsals at 5pm, come home about 10pm, in between, she would squeeze time to finish her homework.  She would even stay up till midnight to get her work done.  She proved she was dedicated and hardworking. She knows how to ask for extensions when she needed and oh gosh, even facetime her math teacher for help.

The music department had a trip go watch the high school musical.  She didn't want to go, I didn't ask why.  At hot lunch, where I volunteered, moms' were surprised when I told them Gilly didn't go. Most of them said their kids would find any excuse to get out of class.  I mulled over their reaction, worried that something was wrong with my child or something happened to my child.  I finally asked her why because everyone liked the musical.  She then told me if she went for the show, she would miss on science and math and no matter what, she still had to complete the homework and how could she do it if she missed the class.  I was shocked.  I didn't expect this from her.  It made sense and another "Mommy Ah Ha" momemt.

Last week,  I totally forgot that there was a mandatory parent meeting for High school Poms.  That meant she would not get a chance to try out for Poms.  I felt bad, but I didn't realize until a few days ago that she knew about the meeting and she didn't tell me. She decided on her own that she wants to concentrate on her studies for freshman year.  She knew with almost all honor classes next year, her hands will be full as she still has her dance. I was surprise by her maturity and sensibility.  Didn't expect that from her. Worse part, her friends got into JV and they told her if she had tried out, she most probably would have gotten into Varsity because of her advance dance skills.

And last week, there was abit of drama in school for her.  She got called in to see a social worker.  It was some things that some boys did to the point they were suspended from school for almost a week. Someone asked if she snitched on them, she said "no".  I realize that her survival instinct is there. She knows right from wrong and when to say or not to say somethings. I asked her how she felt, she said she didn't want the boys in trouble but she didn't want to lie and what they did was disrespectful to girls.

All in all, she just blew me away.  I didn't expect this from her.  I guess she is growing and I'm getting old.  I think I'll take her to go buy some hair accessories just to give her a nice treat.

Have a great day folks.  Hormonal daughters can still surprise us mummies.
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January 29, 2014

Dance drama and friendship

Gilly was in competitive dance 3 years ago, due to her irresponsibility,  I pulled her out of the team.  She missed it especially her friends. As a mom, it was a hard decision to make but a year later, I realize that was the best decision I made. She became more responsible and even her grades improved and she made it to all honor classes.

Last July, we had to decide if she should join the competition team. After much mulling and friend's persuasion.  We are back in competitive dance.

Fast forward to Jan 14.  We were blindsided by our friends.  I knew they were not happy with the dance studio and a few teachers but I didn't know they would just drop out of the dance studio and competitive team.  It was not just the announcement from the teacher instead of our "friends" but the results of it.  Some dances were cancelled, some from a quartet to a trio, with change in song since you can't have 3 girls dancing a 4 brother dance, so they had go back and tweak another routine for these 3 girls who had no part in this decision.

When we came home from the team meeting, that is where I learnt, I was lied to, the mom told me they were taking a break but actually they had been scouting around for other dance studios.  Even asked a few other girls if they wanted to switch studios.  Thank God they didn't because its easier to manage a 2 short than 3 or 4 short of dancer choreography.

Then comes the heartbreaking statement from my girl. The whole summer she had a blast of a time with these girls.  Now she realize they didn't care much for her.  They didn't come watch her dance at the Nutcracker but went to another studio to watch the Christmas program.  I said, what are you going to do this summer? She said "I'll be the lone ranger, I'll get used to it."  Broke my heart but its ok, I will find ways to entertain her during summer. She certainly has learnt what types of friends are there in this world.  No more innocence for this 13 year old.

Just my two cents into motherhood and growing up with friends.

Update:  A few weeks after this post, I found out that one parent had told the teacher that my girl, who is no saint, was one of the girls that were mean to her daughter.  Now this is what I don't get, if my child is that mean and caused your daughter emotional trauma, then why the heck is your daughter facetime-ing my child 4 times.  Yes, 4 times !!!! This is where Gilly got confused.  Makes no sense except, they just blatantly used my child as an excuse to get out of their commitments.
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